Red Flag #4

4. "That's why I'm glad I know CPR."



One day my entire department at the office decided to go out for lunch together. We arrived at the restaurant and had just placed our orders when the coworker (and friend) sitting next to me suddenly stood up and had a seizure.



Other coworkers knew of his history of epilepsy and called 9-1-1 right away. He was seated next to a wall and between me and another person, so we just made sure he didn't fall and then helped seat him and hold his head up when he fell unconscious for a moment.



The paramedics took him away and his closest friend at work (not me) went to the hospital with him.



I wrote the Megalomaniac Boyfriend an email about it--telling him how scary it was and how I was really worried for my friend. All I wanted was to share my feelings and get some sort of emotional support from my partner.



What does he respond with? Those little words that mean so much:



"Glad I know CPR."



Are you kidding me? Are we even talking about you, dude? For once, no.



Also in this category are these classic exchanges:



Exhibit B

Him: "How would you like to go to Vegas with me this weekend?"

Me: "Absolutely!"

Him: "So we're leaving at 10 a.m.--D's gonna drive since all 7 of us will be sharing a room."



Exhibit C

Me: "Hey did you get that really important email I sent you?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "What did you think?"

Him: "Oh, I didn't read it."